Empathy
by Mickey Kenny

I tightened the belt around my arm and waited for the blue veins
to rise from my skin like inflating balloons—

                                 begging to be punctured.

When I pressed the syringe into my skin
            It felt like I had—

                       Torn the Eiffel Tower from Paris
                       Turned it upside down and filled it’s hollow chamber with
                       the melting faces and soft eyes that I’ve seen in green parks
                       soaked in strange sunlight—
                                   Then I watched the warm liquid get quickly sipped by the tiny red
                                   mouth on my forearm

When I pulled the needle out…
That tiny mouth closed
and my eyes
slowly rolled back like lethargic reels of a slot machine.

                                                                                                              I used to gamble.
                                                                                                              I got two dollar signs-
                                                                                                              And a yellow duck.
I had a dream where God called me an ugly duck,
            I woke up and boiled his face in a silver spoon
            Six inches above my stove top—
                     I even wrote the word Bible on my straw,
            And when I inhaled the thin smoke
            I felt his long white hairs tickle the back of my throat
            Like they were slender fingertips trying to grab prayers from my stomach

                                                                     I’ve gotten my stomach pumped twice
                                                                     I remember the ceiling lights of the hallway,
                                                                     They hung like kites drenched in bleach—

                                                                     Nurses held me like my mother.

I fell in love once,
Her name was Isis;

                                                                     The Goddess of light.

I tasted her eyes
They felt like warm peaches melting

Into orange streaks that fell down my throat:
The colors puddled in my stomach

I had to get my stomach pumped.

                                                                     The nurses said it was like Tokyo flowed
                                                                     from my liver and coated the virgin tile floor
                                                                     with neon radiance. I just remember the cold steel cart;
                                                                     it felt like a sword teasing my
                                                                     spine.

I used to cut myself.
Never near the wrists.
I shaved my head and made small gashes in my scalp.
I wore the wounds like they were brail for my guardian angel—
                       I waited.
                       All I learned was that heavy clouds have sharp toenails—
                                                                      I bled their dance.

You probably don’t believe me. I don’t know if I would. You probably think this is a
strange joke…
Finding a message in a bottle.
Well it’s the last bottle of Vodka I will ever touch. I also filled it with a syringe and a
plastic spoon. You’re holding my past life.

Please tear the letter up.
Break the spoon.
Throw away the syringe.

                                             Keep the bottle in-case you’re like me…
                                             Or know someone who is.

My name is Mickey Kenny. I enjoy nature and empty journals. I am kind of discouraged by society and full journals. I very much enjoy SLAM poetry. I was born in Anchorage, Alaska. Now I live in Bellingham, Washington. I go to Fairhaven College-it is beautiful. I love to learn, I hope things continue as such. I am 22 years of age.