Complicated
by Mandy Moen

"Oh my god, I can't believe I'm going to be late again," said Holly as she merged onto the thruway. "Of all the times she could've picked it had to be Friday at 5. This rush hour is going to kill me."

It was Jenna's 22nd birthday. The two girls and a few other friends had planned to meet at Mickey Ro's for Jenna's birthday.

"If this speed doesn't increase in like 20 seconds, I'm going to have some major road rage!"

Holly scanned the road. She watched as vehicles weaved in and out of traffic, attempting methods that would hopeful get them to their destination quicker. Since she was playing a game of stop and go, she decided to turn the radio on. Just as she did the news and weather report began.

And now for your news and weather. Well on this Friday you can expect some delays on the 33 . . .

"Yeah, no shit."

There appears to be a disabled vehicle. If you're planning on taking the 33 west be prepared for some delays . . .

"Some?? We're talking major delays here buddy!"

Your best choice would be to find an alternative route. Other than that traffic seems to be moving smoothly. As for weather, expect some showers in the evening. Clouds are likely to roll in around 6 o'clock this evening. In news today, scientists have found a way to stop overeating. That's right, a pill that will significantly decrease your appetite.

"Oh man, I need to get me some of those pills. Summer time will be here before you know it and I can't even remember the last time I worked out"

Ten minutes passed and traffic finally picked up. Holly wanted one thing when she graduated from high school and that was a car. Being a daddy's girl worked towards her advantage that year. Holly's Mitsubishi Eclipse was now rolling along at a good 70 mph. She loved her car, it was fast and flashy. The time was 4:58 and she still had a good 15 minute drive.

"Man, I knew I should've left earlier. This is like the fifth time this semester I've been late for something. I'm never going to hear the end of it."

She was finally in downtown Chicago . Now she had to deal with the hassles of traffic lights. Mickey Ro's was down on Monroe Ave. which was on the outskirts of the city itself. As she approached the corner of Monroe Ave. , she saw Derek's Blazer parked on the side of the street. The antagonist of all antagonists had beaten her. She knew Derek would pick her apart. After parking her car she did a quick make-up check. All seemed to be in order, except for a quick brushing of her hair. She'd open her window while driving to get some fresh air in the car and it had made a mess of her long blonde hair. Stepping out of the car, she adjusted her short jean skirt and was on her way.

Mickey Ro's was no ordinary bar. It had a beach theme, and it was three levels high. A side room off the main floor had an indoor sand volleyball court and a Jacuzzi. People loved this place because it kept the feeling of summer alive all year. She knew the crew would be on the second floor because that was their normal spot. They liked what was called the "Umbrella Room". There were tropical umbrellas everywhere of all shapes, colors and sizes. The atmosphere was upbeat and lively.

"Oohh it's about time you showed," said Derek with a drink in his hand.

"I swear to god that guy has radar on me. He just never misses a beat. How can someone be so lame? I bet as soon as he got here and noticed that I wasn't here yet, he sat down at that table and just waited for me to come hustling in. I made sure I looked cool and calm before I came in the room. Why give him more reasons to pick on me?" thought Holly. "Hey guys, sorry traffic was horrendous! There was a car broken down on the 33, slowed everybody down."

"Holly come on, you don't need to apologize," Jenna said, "you're only . . . (looking at her watch) like 20 minutes late. We knew you were going to show . . . sooner or later."

"Thanks for the boost of confidence there Jen. Sooner or later, what is that all about?"

"Ya know with school, Brendan and anything else you're either late half the time or you bail out on us."

"Gee Jenna; tell me how you really feel. Ok whatever, today is your birthday lets just drop this for now."

Holly gave a little smile to Jenna and Jenna did the same. This was their way of calling a truce for the time being.

"Man it didn't take long for the drama to start," said Holly under her breath as she walked towards the bar. Her favorite bartender, Joey, was working. Her crew of friends were regulars at Mickey Ro's, so they had gotten to know the staff.

"Holly, long time no see." Joey smiled. "Can I get you your regular?"

"Hey Joey, how's it going? Umm I think I'm going to have an Amaretto Sour today." The last time she was out with Brendan he had ordered one of those for her and it was great.

"You've been gone a few weeks and now you're changing your drink huh? What have you been up to?"

"What, are you going to hassle me too?" said Holly as she smoothed her hair behind her ear. "I've just been very busy lately between school and . . . uh . . . . just other stuff."

Joey constantly asked her out, but he just wasn't her type. He was more of a bad boy. Between the tattoos, piercings and the punk music he liked, they just weren't a match in her eyes. Joey had a great personality, but she saw him more as the big brother type, the type that hooked her up with drinks at the bar.

"Here ya go Hol, one Amaretto Sour. Now I figured that since this has to be some experiment for you, I'll give it to ya on the house." Joey winked.

Holly flashed a smile and thanked him for yet another free drink. "Joe, you really know how to treat us poor college kids. I'll remember you some day."

In the meantime the rest of the crew had engaged in various conversations. Derek and a few of the guys talked about last night's hockey game, while Jenna, Amy and Tara discussed plans for tomorrow night. Holly really didn't have anything to contribute to either conversation, but she decided to sit down with the girls.

"So Holly what's new?" said Tara while putting up her jet black hair.

"Uh nothing much." She really didn't want to tell them everything that was going on these days. They were too critical of everything. Both Jenna and Tara chose a career right after high school instead of going to college. This gave them a lot of free time in the evenings. Time to go out, socialize, drink til the dawn and have fun. She on the other hand had a lot on her plate right now. It wasn't the time, place, or in some cases the right people for her to be discussing her life with.

"Oh come on, you can do better than that. We don't see you for like two to three weeks at a time and nothing's new?" Tara seemed to have taken offense to Holly's response. "What do you do all the time? What's going on with you and Brendan these days or should I ask?"

Tara always got under Holly's skin. She was one of Jenna's friends from work who wiggled her way into their circle of friends years ago. "Oh Brendan is fine . . ."

"So you guys are 'on' now I take?" interrupted Tara .

Holly could feel her face getting warmer as her temper rose. "Why is this girl so noisy," she thought. " Tara we've been 'on' as you say it for the past two and some years." Tara rolled her eyes at Holly. Both girls were competing for the friendship of Jenna. Holly was of the past and Tara was now of the present.

"Guys, we're here to celebrate Jenna's birthday, not talk about me. How about we get this girl some shots." Holly was desperately trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, good idea," said Amy. "Hey Joey, we need a couple shots over here for the birthday girl."

Derek perked up. "Hey did somebody say shots?" He was taller than the other guys, and louder too, so it was easy to see and hear his response to the girl's idea. "Birthday girl, we got a birthday girl in the house," he shouted. He went over and talked to Joey and before you knew it was coming around with a tray full of shots. "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are celebrating Miss Jenna Walkers 22 nd birthday. Would you please join me in a shot." He walked over to Jenna and motioned for her to get up on a chair. "Come on girl. You gotta stand tall and proud. Today's your day."

"No, Derek I'd rather not." said Jenna as she crept away from him trying to hide behind Amy.

"You mean to say that after I've bought a drink for everyone here on account of your birthday, you won't even stand on a chair for me so I can give you a toast?" Derek was giving her the pouty lip. He loved to get a rise out of little Jenna. Well he loved to get a rise out of anyone, but Jenna was the target this evening. He walked over to Jenna and took away her shot. "Here Tara hold this for a second." He bent down and threw Jenna over his shoulder. "You're going to stand on that chair whether you like it or not!"

"Derek, I mean it, put me down," Jenna screamed and she started to kick her legs. "You may be bigger then me, but you know I'll get you back!" Jenna sounded aggravated.

"I think Derek has gone too far this time," whispered Holly to Amy.

"I know. The guy is funny and all, but he doesn't know when to stop. He's like a 13-year-old in a 25-year-olds body." The two girls began to giggle. Here was little Jenna over Derek's shoulder. It looked like Derek was saving a damsel in distress, but the only distress Jenna had was from Derek. He plopped her atop the chair and gave her drink back. "Everyone, will you raise your glasses please I have a little toast for Jenna. I've been working on this for a few days now so if you will give me a minute here . . .ok, ok here we go. . . Roses may be red, well most of them, and violets are usually blue, I know you probably hate me right now, but Happy Birthday to you! Ok everybody drink . . . to Jenna!"

"Wow Derek, you put a lot of time and thought into that one didn't you?" said Jenna sarcastically. She wasn't as anger now, but she was still embarrassed. "Well nothing but the best for you my friend." Derek took Jenna's hand and helped her off the chair. As big a pain as he was, Derek was always a good time, that is if you weren't on the receiving end of his jokes.

Jenna had always managed to be the center of attention no matter where she was. This bothered Holly. She realized it was Jenna's birthday and everything, but Holly had never been hoisted up by some guy. Not that she would ever want Derek to touch her, but still. Holly often wondered if she made the right decision when deciding to go to college. She looked at Jenna and saw how much fun she was always having and the girl was never stressed out either. On top of that she was making good money as a secretary for the state. Jenna could get any guy she wanted and chose to stay single. While Holly was with Brendan and she honestly had doubts on if they were going anywhere, they were too fickle. Here she was out on the town and he was home for the night doing who knows what with Eric.

The crew had settled down a bit and broken off into little groups again. Joey now came around to pick up some of the empty glasses and bottles.

"So Holly, seriously, when are you going to let me take you out sometime? Or do you still have that supposed boyfriend I've never seen?"

Holly blushed. "Funny Joey. You know I'm not a single woman." There was always something about Joey that intrigued her.

"Yeah, or so you say. If this guy is so great why don't you bring him out with you? Are you embarrassed of him or something?"

"Of course not." she said sternly. "It's just . . ."

"Complicated, right?" Joey interrupted her.

"Well yeah. You just wouldn't understand." Holly was flustered. She had had enough fun for one night. As the others discussed what bar to go to next, she decided to go home. She was wondering what Brendan was up to. "Jenna I had a great time tonight, but I better get going. I hope you had a nice birthday."

"What? You're honestly going home now? Holly it's 9:30 on a Friday night you should be coming out with us." said Jenna as she put her hands on her hips.

"No, I really got to get going." Holly looked at her watch to make it look like she had somewhere important to. "I have a lot of work to do back at school. Only a few more months and I'm done. Then I am all yours."

"Are you sure you're not off to Brendan's?" asked Jenna looking perturbed.

"Why do you have to bring him into this?"

"Well because my best friend, or once best friend, is always unavailable. Why go out and have fun with me, your friend of 10 years when you can sit around a house twiddling your thumbs with a guy AND his SON!!"

"I think you have it all wrong Jenna. It's really not like that. I hardly see him. I have school and things to do there remember??" Holly couldn't help wonder if she had been neglecting her friends. But who was she kidding, Jenna had that leech, Taaaarrraaa. "Oh you don't care about me Jenna, you have that bitch over there to spend time with." Jenna's mouth dropped open and Tara got up in defense.

"Wrong Holly, she's my friend, she cares about, she actually likes to spend time with me. Just . . . whatever." Holly was flustered. "If it's not one thing it's another with you. It's my birthday. I want to go out and have some fun. You're more then welcome to come, but I'm not going to beg you. We'll finish this conversation some other time, just not tonight." Jenna's face was red and Tara was standing right behind her.

"I don't want any trouble, so tell your buddy there to chill. I'll call ya later this week. Happy Birthday." She gave her a hug, said good bye to the others, and she was on her way. Holly glared at Tara and gave a little wave to Jenna, who stood there with her hands in fists. "Typical little Italian," Holly thought.

On her way out she bumped into Joey. He had left for a smoke break. "Joe, you're still sucking on those cancer sticks?" said Holly with a tone of disappointment.

"Ya know I would love to quit, but I don't have any motivation. Maybe if I had a hot girl like you as my girlfriend I could give the habit up." He loved to go back and forth with her.

"It's just a shame that a nice guy like yourself has to take ten years off your life just for a little nicotine."

"Are you the newest advocate for the new smoking law?" He grinned. "It's bad enough that I can't smoke indoors because of the new law and now I have you on my case?"

"Ok, I'm done!" Holly gave him a friendly punch on the arm. "I gotta jet. Talk to ya later."

"Well since you won't be back for another month or so, why don't I give you my number and you can call me when you come to the reality that you're in love with me." She watched as his eyes twinkled. He was so bold and daring, she couldn't help but feel a little attracted to him. Joey was exciting and spontaneous; he was everything she had been missing out on. He handed her his number and gave her as peck on the cheek.

"Later girl. You better call me, you know you like me, why deny yourself?"

"I'll call you when your head deflates and you come back down to earth. Catch ya later."

* * *

When she got into her car Holly thought about Joey for a few minutes and then called Brendan.

"Hey sweetie, what are you up to?" she said with a happy ring in her voice.

"Well I put Eric to bed about an hour ago and have been watching a little TV ever since, nothing overly exciting. So what are you up to? Are you still out with the crew?"

"I'm in my car right now getting ready to leave. I was calling to see if you were still up and if you wanted some company."

"Yeah, you can come over, I'm just bumming around."

"Ok, I'll be there in a half an hour."

Brendan lived an hour south of Chicago in her hometown of Persia . From downtown Chicago she was an equal distance from home and school. She liked this convenience because she had flexibility when it came to seeing her family and Brendan. Holly and Brendan had been dating on and off for the past three years. They had some hard times because Holly had been in school and Brendan was at home working and taking care of his 7-year-old son. With graduation approaching, Holly had a lot of decisions to make. She loved Brendan, but she didn't know if she wanted to go back home where he was. At 22 she felt as though she hadn't lived yet. She was young and adventurous, well when she had the time, and the last thing she wanted to do was go back home and live out a routine life in Persia . Holly could never tell her parents this. It would crush them. First of all they didn't approve of Brendan because his child was conceived out of wedlock. They felt Holly could find someone better. Second of all she was not looking forward to going home and living under her parents rule after being totally independent for the past four years. Things were not going to be fun this summer.

She pulled up to Brendan's house at 10:10 . He lived in the upstairs of a big white duplex. Brendan owned the building. He shared it with an elderly couple lived in the bottom portion of it. The house was an old Victorian classic. The pillars out front welcomed you to its big porch. The ceilings were high and the craftsmanship of the woodwork looked like it had been done by a professional. The gentleman who owned the house before him had said that his great grandfather had built the entire house by hand. His great grandfather had taken pride in every detail of the house, especially the carvings in the woodwork. He had handcrafted a spiral effect in the railing for the staircase and designed large oak bookcases in the living room to accommodate his wife's passion for reading.

As she looked up at his living room window it was dark, but she saw the glow of his television set. "Guess he wasn't lying when he said he was going to take it easy tonight," she said as she approached the stairs to his entranceway. Once in the house, she slid off her sandals and placed her jacket on the back of a kitchen chair. She peeked around the corner and saw him sitting in his usual spot, the love seat.

"Hey there, you made pretty good time," he said getting up from the love seat. He came over, kissed her on the cheek and smiled. "Wow, you look great. I can't even remember the last time I saw you in a skirt?" Holly blushed.

"Oh stop, it was a nice day for once, so I figured why not." She loved the way he made her feel. She looked into his green eyes and felt calm for the first time in a few hours. They were a good fit. She knew she could always depend on him.

"So are ya hungry? I still have some leftovers from dinner. I made Cajun Chicken and rice; it might be a little too spicy for you."

"Well I don't know . . . did you . . ."

"Nope." he interrupted, "There are no onions in it. I put them in a separate container." She smiled. "You know me too well. I think I'm going to pass for now though. I had something to eat a few hours ago."

The two of them sat down on the love seat for an evening of a little relaxation and TV. He rubbed her legs as they talked about their days and what was on the TV. Flipping through the channels they found that the movie Old School was on HBO

"So how is the job search going?" asked Brendan with a curious look.

Holly took a deep breath and thought about it for a minute. "Well everything is as good as it can possibly be. I've found a few leads and have sent out my resume." She hesitated again, trying to remind herself not to get snippy with Brendan. After all it wasn't his fault everyone and their cousin were asking her the same questions, but she couldn't hold back. "Nothing against you or anything, but I'm just sick of hearing that question every day, like 20 times a day." Holly started blushing. "Why did I just say that?" She thought.

"Oh I'm sorry hun, I didn't meant to strike a nerve there. I'm just interested in your future, that's all."

"I know you meant well, and I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's just so frustrating sometimes. I have all these projects to do and things to finish before the big day. Time is just ticking so fast. I'm scared."

"Well honestly I'm scared too. I'm scared about us. I was once worried that you would find someone better than me at school. Someone younger, better looking and without a son, but we've made it past that point and now there's an even bigger issue at hand. Now that I have you and things are working out so well, will this last? I'm not asking you to marry me or anything," said Brendan concern. "Well not yet that is, but I'm 27 and not getting any younger."

"Wow, I uh . . . don't know what to say." Holly had pause so she could think. "I guess I was expecting this talk at some point and time, but I guess I didn't expect it to come so soon. I understand what you're saying, but where are you going with all of this?" Holly felt like Brendan was going to drop a bomb. She watched his lips to make sure she would hear and see every thing that he was about to say.

"Well, you know, Eric likes you and things have been going really good between us, what would you think about taking this to the next level . . ."

"The next level? Umm . . . what do you mean by next level?" Holly tried to play stupid so she could buy some more time to think.

"What would you think about moving in with me after you graduate?"

Holly just sat there. Her head was spinning. She loved this guy, but moving in with him was one step closer to what some would call forever. Forever is a long time she thought. Was she ready for forever, forever with him?

"Holly, did you hear what I said?"

"What? Yeah, oh Brendan, yeah I heard you. I was just thinking. I mean this is a huge thing to think about. With my parents and all, I just don't know."

"Holly you're 22 years old, you're a grown woman now. A woman who will have a college degree in a matter of months. Does it really matter what your parents have to say?"

"Whether you like it or not, they're still my parents and they'll always have an input in my life. As religious as they are, I don't think they'll go for this whole living together thing. Brendan, my mom doesn't even like you. How will they go for this? They absolutely disagreed with a couple living together before marriage."

"I figure you come home and move back in with them. We tell them what our intentions are and let them get used to the idea of it for a month or so and then we do it. What do you think?"

Again Holly just sat there. What would her parents do? Freak out! That's what they would do. She knew they would never go for this, but Brendan was right in the sense that she was old enough to make her own decisions. Then again, what did she think about all of this? Was she really ready to jump out of college and right into living with someone? A guy she had dated for three years. Was that a long enough time to do something so bold and life altering? Not only that, but she would become an instant mother for a 7-year-old at 22!

"I think we'll just have to see what happens Brendan. You never know where I may get a job and all."

"Well you are looking locally aren't you?"

"Yes, but like I said, one just never knows what might happen."

Holly laid her head on Brendan's chest and acted as though she was suddenly interested in the movie again. She hoped that he would either get the hint that she didn't want to talk anymore or that this was her sly way of changing the subject. As much as she enjoyed the movie, she just lay there and thought. Her life had become so complicated in a matter of months and over the past few minutes it just grew in intensity. How would she ever get everything straightened out in time to start her new life?

Mandy Moen is a senior English major at Daemen College, specializing in Communications and Public Relations. Fiction writing has given her the opportunity to express herself better and to become a more intuitive and alert writer.